10 on Tuesday

29Dec09

It’s late and I’m tired. I found this list today while catching up on my reading, and I liked it, and I am a total sucker for lists.

1. If you could change anything about your physical appearance, what would it be?

I would be stretch mark and cellulite free.

2. Is there a habit in others that you find annoying?

Nothing comes to mind. I have pet peeves, but I don’t know that I pay attention to other people’s habits.

3. What is your favorite recipe using ground beef?

My husband does the cooking in this house. This question gives me flashbacks of a nanny job I had where I made tacos at least once a week.

4. What was your favorite book as a kid?

Hatchet, by Gary Paulsen

5. Did you work as a teenager and if so, where?

Yes. I started on the “Clean Team” when I was 15 or so, getting up early on Saturday mornings and cleaning up trash on the beaches in the town I grew up in. I also babysat a lot, and worked as an activity aide in a nursing home.

6.  Did you work while in college and if so, where?

Yes. For a period of time my parents were afraid I’d graduate college, not use my degree and become a nanny full-time.

7. When you go to sleep do you like  total darkness or semi? When you go to sleep do you need quiet or is some noise ok?

Total darkness. I could fall asleep during a circus and a tornado in a room full of teething babies, so noise doesn’t bother me.

8. When doing laundry, fabric softener or not?

Well, before I met my husband, who LOVES it, I was a no, not ever, anti-fabric softener girl. Now I use it, but I hate it most on towels. Towels need to be absorbent. Not soft and fluffy.

9. Open toed or closed toed shoes?

I don’t own any open shoes. I like the idea of them, but because I have the royalty toe (here is where I would have a link to an entry where stephanie klein mentions this in/on her blog) they look awful on me.

10. Would you rather be blind or deaf?

Blind. I don’t think I could live without music, or hearing people say I love you, or laughter.

11. Dangle or stud earrings?

Both! I didn’t start to like dangle earrings until I was well into my 20s, I thought they were slutty and cheap and not classic or sophisticated. I’m over that now.

12. Bottled water or tap?

Any kind that doesn’t involve having to throw away more plastic bottles.

13. What do you put on pancakes?

Butter and syrup. My dad sometimes puts sour cream on his.

14. On a long trip would you rather drive or fly?

See previous post. I love a good road trip.

15. Do you prefer classic old movies or new?

I don’t like old movies. If it was made before 1980, I’m not interested.

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We drove from FL to KS for Christmas. I saw parts of the country I never have before, and learned that in almost all of it, people really HATE our President. Here are a few other things I learned along the way.

  1. My M-I-L is not a spontaneous hugger.
  2. She did surprise me though, with her emerging, life-after- divorce sense of humor.
  3. Archie (fancy blogger would link here to Archie Bunker’s wiki page) and I fought a LOT before we left. I still haven’t recovered from how hurtful his words were.
  4. I may not be crazy about my sisters in law, as Archie pointed out in a fight, and I realized they aren’t overjoyed about me either, so there.
  5. I had NO IDEA how much my husband likes Lady GaGa, but I get it now.
  6. I didn’t send a resume with my grad school app, or discuss in my personal statement the areas I need improvement in to be a professional social worker.
  7. I really, really enjoyed my first ever full week of vacation. I’m more of an adult now. I am slowly starting to understand why people say things like “There is so much at home I’d rather be doing then be here.”
  8. As the prime rib was cooking at my M-I-L’s on Christmas eve, it made me crave mashed potatoes, and brought back awesome memories of my mom’s pot roast, which we always had with mashed potatoes, which was my job to prepare as a kid. This made me very, very homesick (fancy blogger would link previous post here written recently about being homesick).
  9. My grieving and anxiety about Christmas were so much worse than the actual days. I feel silly for how many nights earlier this month I spent laying in my bed at all hours of the night, crying and crying and crying. I only cried a little on Christmas Day. And I was sleepless on Christmas Eve for three hours from drinking too much good wine.
  10. That being said, it is still REALLY HARD to call my family on Christmas. It’s hard for them to pick up the phone, too. The conversations are short, with promises to talk again soon. This devastates me(link here to survival’s daughter, original blog).
  11. I’m doing a TREMENDOUS amount of maturing and growing up right now. It really sucks.
  12. NEWSFLASH: Being married, forgiving and letting go ARE REALLY HARD SOMETIMES.
  13. I really do genuinely love football.
  14. I had NO IDEA Texarkana was an actual city. I thought it was an expression like “Tex-Mex” that described the culture and lifestyle of that part of the country. Much like people think I’m in the mob, or know people in the mob, because I’m from Jersey.
  15. Also, I thought it was Tul-e-po. Not Tupelo.
  16. There are things about living in Gainesvegas that make me want to roll my eyes so far into my head that I fear they’ll never come back down. I don’t know that I’ll EVER understand college football, and possibly getting my MSW online won’t help.
  17. I started using the memo pad on my Blackberry to keep track of Christmas present ideas for our families next year. I also started 2 other “notes”, one with blogging thoughts, ideas and inspirations. It’s proven very helpful already.
  18. I’m not going to keep searching for someone to develop/design/create my blog for me. Either they cost too much, or they don’t respond to my queries. I’ll plod along and be patient with myself, and not worry so much about how pretty it looks. Although, I have some REALLY VIVID ideas for my masthead.
  19. I don’t care anymore how many twitter followers I have, and I need to make more of an effort to connect with the people I read every day.
  20. I’m also not crazy about the name/title of this blog, as not every aspect of my life is a calamity, and I HATE people who complain. But again, evolution over time.
  21. Despite all my best efforts, my Jersey accent still comes through when I least expect it.
  22. I miss a lot of things about winter.
  23. Like fireplaces.
  24. Wool sweaters, not so much.
  25. I love road trips.
  26. I love my husband, and he loves me.

It’s been 14 days since I last posted. FOURTEEN. I suck at this blogging thing so far. And Twitter, too.

I started a post last week after I went to pay bills on PAYDAY Friday. I haven’t finished it yet.

Today I’m feeling a little ill. There is not enough tea on the planet to satiate me. I’m achy, and then hot, and then cold. Blah.

In the past 14 days I have done some creative shopping at The Body Shop, returning some products from the kit I got when I signed up to be a Body Shop At Home representative. I was quite tickled with myself.

I also found a set of 10 Williams-Sonoma missing bowls and some towels, from when we got married, over two years ago. I’m giving the bowls to a friend who’s engaged. My husband and I clearly didn’t miss them. The rolling pin, however, that we have still not been able to find, we are missing terribly.

I cleaned out the garage, sorted through winter clothes and found some professional portraits, empty photo frames and a small glass dish that I bought in Italy.

I flew to Filthadelphia, and spent a weekend with my husband, my family and got to see some of our friends and favorite places for the first time since we moved. It was awesome.

This could be why I’m not feeling well. At one point my husband said you have to “go big or go home”. So we went big.

I just noticed my last post is up there twice. Wow, see, really need to get better at this!


This morning I weaved my way in and out of traffic to avoid one of those trucks that carries all the cars. There weren’t any cars on it, but he was moving along rather quickly and I wanted him to see me, and be out of his way. It was fun, made me feel like I was home again. This is just a random thought I feel compelled to share. That is all.

Yesterday after work I went to the mall. I have no more eye make-up remover. I’ve been using the products from my Body Shop kit. I hate the foundation. The problem is, I’m so bloody poor that I’ve been using everything I have laying around, because it’s FREE. And FREE IS GOOD. So, I go to Macy’s, with my empty bottle and compact and when it comes time to close the deal, I find that my Macy’s card has a balance that I need to pay before I can buy anything else. EEEK! I bought a handbag a few weeks ago and still have not received a bill for it. Today I will call Macys. I GOT DENIED MY NEW MAKE-UP. Boo.

Also, the woman that was helping me had a thick accent, of the eastern European variety and used it to speak quickly and sign me up for some charity thing where I pay $25 and then all my purchases from now to the end of the year, blah blah. I’m happy that I was denied, I didn’t want to sign up for this thing anyways. The whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth.

On to Ann Taylor LOFT, the mother ship, Mecca, HEAVEN ON EARTH for me, where I returned 2 sweaters and a camisole. Mostly because I spent too much money the last time I was there (what was that about being bloody poor?) and also these sweaters are SWEATERS. I live in Florida and have buckets full of sweaters in the garage, I do not need two more.

Then I went to Vikki’s, where I have not been in AGES, and bought myself some much needed underwear and three new bras. And wooo, baby, I am feeling pretty today!

This morning I weaved my way in and out of traffic to avoid one of those trucks that carries all the cars. There weren’t any cars on it, but he was moving along rather quickly and I wanted him to see me, and be out of his way. It was fun, made me feel like I was home again. This is just a random thought I feel compelled to share. That is all.

Yesterday after work I went to the mall. I have no more eye make-up remover. I’ve been using the products from my Body Shop kit. I hate the foundation. The problem is, I’m so bloody poor that I’ve been using everything I have laying around, because it’s FREE. And FREE IS GOOD. So, I go to Macy’s, with my empty bottle and compact and when it comes time to close the deal, I find that my Macy’s card has a balance that I need to pay before I can buy anything else. EEEK! I bought a handbag a few weeks ago and still have not received a bill for it. Today I will call Macys. I GOT DENIED MY NEW MAKE-UP. Boo.

Also, the woman that was helping me had a thick accent, of the eastern European variety and used it to speak quickly and sign me up for some charity thing where I pay $25 and then all my purchases from now to the end of the year, blah blah. I’m happy that I was denied, I didn’t want to sign up for this thing anyways. The whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth.

On to Ann Taylor LOFT, the mother ship, Mecca, HEAVEN ON EARTH for me, where I returned 2 sweaters and a camisole. Mostly because I spent too much money the last time I was there (what was that about being bloody poor?) and also these sweaters are SWEATERS. I live in Florida and have buckets full of sweaters in the garage, I do not need two more.

Then I went to Vikki’s, where I have not been in AGES, and bought myself some much needed underwear and three new bras. And wooo, baby, I am feeling pretty today!


Homesick

14Sep09

One day last week at work I got to tell the story about the squirrels who would steal the socks from the clothesline that Mom always put out on the deck. Dad was sitting in his chair, and happened to see, out of the corner of his eye, a critter with sock in mouth scurry up the tree. And when he looked up the tree, he saw some other socks weaved into the nest. Until then, Mom couldn’t understand how so many socks went missing.

When I go home in a few weeks I want the green gingham pillow with my name on it, from when I was little. And I want my mother’s date nut bread recipe.

When my mother was alive we would always get teary at the reveal on the make-over shows.  I still watch the make-over shows and I still get teary. It isn’t as much fun on the couch by myself.

I can’t wait to go home. July 2006


I just finished reading A Thousand Days in Venice, by Marlene De Blasi. This is completely not related to my previous and first ever post here at calamityshana about my getting engaged in Venice. It’s just that I always mark the pages of my favorite quotes as I read a book and I want a place to share them.  Well, lookie here! I can share them on my very own blog!

 

 “I knew a man who said, ‘Some people ripen, some rot. We grow, sometimes, but we never change. Can’t do it. No one can. Who we are is fixed. There isn’t a soul who can unfix another soul, not even his own,’ he said.” p.143

 

“Living as a couple never means that each gets half. You must take turns at giving more than getting. It’s not the same as a bow to the other whether to dine out rather than in, or which one gets massaged that evening with oil of calendula; there are seasons in the life of a couple that function, I think, a little like a night watch. One stands guard, often for a long time, providing the serenity in which the other can work at something. Usually that something is sinewy and full of spines. One goes inside the dark place while the other one stays outside, holding up the moon.”  p.147

 

“Guests on the terraces of Hotel Europa e Regina and the Monaco, as well as our own at the Bauer, wave and shout, and for a moment I float above the little tableau, believing, not believing, it is my tableau. This is happening to all of us, I think. This wedding, these spangles of sunlight, this glissade through blue water, the old sweet faces of the palazzi looking down, this pink-washed peace is for all of us. This is for everyone who was ever lonely. How I wish I could give away pieces of this day like loaves of warm bread.” p186

 

When I was reading the chapters of this book about the wedding, I was on a plane, delayed on the tarmac for three hours. I cried and cried as I read, squeezed between two other women. I didn’t feel like explaining to them that I ALWAYS cry at weddings. Even in books. So I just kept reading and wiping tears away, hoping they would leave me alone, and they did.

It was in those chapters that I marked all these passages that I liked. Sitting on a plane, on the tarmac, attending a wedding in Venice.


This photo was taken the day before I got engaged.

This photo was taken the day before I got engaged.

I got engaged in Venice on January 2nd, 2005. It rained the whole time we were there, and after dinner that night, Adam wanted to go for a walk. I did not. Everyone else went back to the warm, dry hotel. We went for a walk. We walked along the canal, and stopped to watch the boats and the rain fall, and it was cold and damp. I remember he pulled me close, and that he asked me to marry him, and that he didn’t get down on one knee because it was wet. I don’t remember anything other than the words “will you marry me?” come out of this mouth. It was very much a Charlie Brown moment, I couldn’t believe it was happening. I cried, he cried, we kissed, and walked through the streets of Venice. I was suddenly elated, and didn’t care about the rain at all.

Before we left for this trip, Adam interviewed for a job, and thought it went well, and thought that he would get it. He did not. He asked me to marry him without a ring. He didn’t want to bring me all the way to Venice and not propose.

So we picked a hand blown glass ring from one of the shops. It was perfect.